Great Christmas Secrets Guarded for Centuries; Now unfolded for your eyes!

Did you know that Bob the Builder was the Inn Keeper? It was left out of the Bible but the Inn was really crowded and he was hired to add on to the Inn..... a little too late I'd say....also the Angels weren't all "angels".....

some were kind of "punks" if you know what I mean and just happened to be tapped for the assignment of singing to the shepherds...

Simple Christmas, with simple gifts are the best. When you can get all the wrappers and paper for 8 people into a regular kitchen garbage bag.... you know it was GREAT!!!!!

If you are going to scrimp on "stuff", you might as well make some memories. Sea World for Christmas is a very uncrowded and fun place to help children feel like their dad isn't such a freak and a grinch :) for having a modest Christmas.

Kids hopefully will remember having fun together and maybe this kind of Christmas will be a preferable one than the ones where they can't hardly stuff the "stuff" into an already stuffed bedroom filled with the last few years of "stuff".

It is real hard work watching the kids at Sea World. Good thing Mr. Grinch (C) was well rested for the task.

San Antonio is right around 70 degrees at Christmas and the river walk is a very quaint city feature. I feel blessed that I don't live in a city and that I never will again, but some of them have some quaint draws and the river walk is a super unique attraction. We loved it and it made a very nice Christmas activity.

I am such a horrible dad. I don't buy each of my kids a drink at Wendy's. Thus they are on it like a pack of lions on a wounded antelope....

When you are the smallest lion at the "kill", you get left with the "bones".....

The third child had his 7th birthday in San Antonio and we celebrated by eating at Wendy's and then getting ice cream at Braums. Kids love ice cream even at Christmas, and Braums has fantastic ice cream!

Kids behave best when they are "properly motivated" at Christmas. Some parents tell their kids that Santa won't give them presents if they are bad. My kids don't buy it because they know that the Grinch doesn't believe in lavish gift giving at Christmas. So I found a new motivation.....I screamed to the whale trainer that when they were out of the fish-in-the-pale that I had some fighting kids that I'd be more than happy to feed to Shamu. Then like magic, happiness and love filled the arena and WALA, "good tidings and peace on earth again".....

In TOTAL:

1. Free tickets to Sea World

2. Gas $1.34-1.49/gallon

3. Temporary Housing at the Air Force base for a family suite $41.50/night including tax

4. Bringing left overs/food from home and recooking them in the kitchenette-very economic

5. Eating smuggled tuna fish sandwiches at Sea World that didn't come from "dolphin free tuna"-very economic AND insensitive

6. Family togetherness instead of "stuff" at Christmas - very economic and fun

7. Obedient kids thinking that their dad will throw them into the killer whales-PRICELESS

What I like and don't like about Christmas (you're a mean one, Mr. Grinch (C)

Grandpa passing on the family secrets and the kids being introduced to this wonderous tradition. Thank you DAD!!!!

I admit that some people (my wife and kids) think I am the modern Grinch when it comes to Christmas. My likes and don't likes about Christmas probably explain this "grinchness" that some may see in me.

After my parents were divorced when I was 12, I admit that this time of year has been very uncomfortable for me. Things could be scarce. My dad was rarely around and struggling with his own personal demons, my mom and us kids were usually the charity case of the ward. So this time of year just seem to accentuate the deficiencies in my home growing up. Then something magic happened to me as a missionary.

In Nicaragua in 1993 (my first Christmas in the mission), I was training a new companion and he was struggling mightily. I knew he was terribly homesick, frustrated with the language, missing his personal possessions (video games, his toyota pickup, his "own room", and other things). Christmas in Nicaragua was so different than anything I had ever experienced up to that point. No trees, no presents, no smells, no snow, no typical songs, lots of liquor and general debauchery. The gospel became a little tougher to teach and I am sure our "down" spirits didn't help.

I was determined to break this bad funk and so I took some money that was sent to me by some dear friends and I asked Sister Rodriguez, with whom we lived, if she had ever made cake. She got up every morning of the week, save Sunday, and made bread by hand and then carried it up the hill, on big pans to a guy who had an oven. All morning long, on her head, she carried it to bake it and then sell it throughout the day.

I gave her all the money ($50 which was almost equal to the entire amount of money we lived on for an entire month) and she got the supplies. We made about 13 cakes of all weird sizes and shapes. Christmas morning after making cakes and frosting them, my companion and I went out all over town handing out pieces to people. I'll never forget as long as I live, walking down the poor barrios with naked kids playing in the sewer water running down the middle of the dirt streets and then just handing big pieces of cake out to the stunned victims. I remember walking down the street and looking back and seeing little kids just standing there stunned, holding this big piece of cake in their little dirty hands, not knowing what it was or what to do with it. It was awesome and I realized that in this poor country (second poorest on this hemisphere) that the things I associated with a "merry Christmas", were all just materialistic things and that this whole time of Christmas misery was because I thought about what I didn't have instead of what I could do to just blow someone else away with genuine surprise and giving. I repeated it the next year right before coming home. Still, hands down, the greatest Christmas of my life were in Nicaragua with people who had really no earthy possessions.

So, still to this day, I hate buying gifts and receiving bought gifts. It is like a personal insult to the sweet experience I had way back in the mountains of Nicaragua. I like genuine love and associated giving but I can't stand to see my kids fixated on "things" or going to a store because of the commercialization of Christmas. This is the first thing that makes me the grinch. I loved Elder Uchtdorf's talk in the Christmas devotional and I had thought the same things that hopefully this year with the economy on the skids that it would temper the materialistic -"things"-frenzy that has become Christmas.

So the second thing that makes me the grinch is that I for the most part don't like all the candy and sweets of Christmas (I don't care for candy anyways and my heart is on what I do like at Christmas).

So now you all know why I am the grinch.

Now let me tell you about what I absolutely love about Christmas:

1. Sitting in front of a fire with the lights down low,with the one(s) you love, drinking hot chocolate and just being mezmorized by the warmth and flickering of the flames

2. Tamales- my dad used to make tamales around this time of year and it is my first Christmas food love. I can't give my heart away to the cheap treats of Christmas when there is something so glorious and pure about tamales at Chrismas. The smell of that corn and red chilly cooking and steaming together.

3. Citrus- I love the grapefruit for breakfast, oranges and clementines all day. The smell, the taste, the wonder of the simple pure gift of citrus at this time of year. I call this "God's Christmas Candy" because it comes this wonderous time of year.

4. Eggnog. This wonderous drink so rich and creamy with its one of a kind taste and smell.

5. A new love is my wife's Family Christmas DVD which she originally made for me 3 years ago but I was so touched by it that we decided to give it as a christmas card and now we have given it for 3 years (including this year). It is a wonderful way to relive the year for me and to remember the blessings, fun and craziness of living in this family. This is the kind of gift that can't be bought and is like "Nicaragua Cake" to me.

6. Calling up and talking to old friends and distant family and renewing that connection of love and friendship.

I don't want clothes (I hardly wear 1/10 of what is in my closet). I don't want electronics (I don't love things). My dream is to have a Christmas with absolutely no purchased item and to just sit around and listen to Christmas music and give those things that can only be created by love and thoughtfulness and not by the power of filthy lucre..... Now you know Mr. C is the new grinch!

Texas Sheet Cake

OK, so Lani is putting a post here, as Sherdon burnt himself out on the political dialogue of the previous post.

Here are a few pics of my first Texas Sheet Cake in Texas. I've made them in other states, but it just isn't the same, because as you know, Everything is BIGGER and Better in Texas.

So, the kids loved it, Sherdon didn't. He never has. That's OK. He's outnumbered now. It brought back memories of my childhood and the after-school snack of Texas Sheet Cake. It's OK mom, I forgive you for the lack of health-consciousness. There were many a peach/tomato/fresh garden fruit or veggie after school snacks as well.

This world is great! Absolutely no sarcasm involved!

I had very little doubt that Sen Obama would be the next president. I wouldn't vote for him if you held a gun to my head because he has absolutely no experience at all and this country is in deep trouble. I'd elect his wife before I'd elect him because she has at least an ounce of real world experience. This guy is the biggest novice of all time. We've just elected Erkyl to the presidency. Congratulations. We wanted to show the whole world we weren't prejudice sooooooo bad that we decided that we would elect this guy at one of the darkest hours in our country's history. Once again this country in its superficiality, elected style over substance, chose ease over work, fell in love with looks over substance. But the greatest part of this country is this:

I went to bed election night at 9:30 pm and left my wife in misery that the "anti-Christ" was now running America. (I love how she gets so passionate about politics.) I awoke the next morning for an early morning run. I woke up sooooo happy, so excited and blessed to be an American. I woke up with hope, vision, and excitement. I was inspired, touched, and lifted..... not because we had just elected the first half black president, but because of what I saw in the mirror when I woke up. When I realize my potential and my blessings and my future in this great land, I realize that I am all the earthly inspiration I need. It doesn't matter who is pontificating in the oval office or who is lying through their teeth. It won't affect me that much because my faith is in me.

The other reason I am excited and genuinely happy is for all those who have put their trust, faith, and hope in Obama. For the last 8 years they have just been miserable. I have heard a lot of complaining, grumbling and crying about Bush this, and Bush that and Bush here and Bush there. There is such a large sector of this country who has blamed him for everything. For their poverty, for their lack of education, for their repossessed homes, for their depression, for their daily temperature changes, for their infertility, for their bad judgment, for their lust, for their stupidity, for their unemployment, for their bad luck, for their body odor, for gas prices, for the price of tea in China. You name it it is Bush's fault. Now these "prone to whiners" better become the "yes we canners". They have no more excuses for their lives. They got their inspiration and now I hope to see an inspired America.

As for the rest of us. We have ourselves. We will work hard, we will invent, we will drive, we will adapt, we will evolve and we will be successful no matter who is in the White House. We will drive this country because we always have and always will. Now hopefully we'll have the "crying-blaming majority" start to get off of their back sides and take charge of their lives. Bush will be gone and there won't be anyone to point a finger at except themselves. Frankly, politicians don't excite me, they are the necessary evil of mortality. In the next world Christ will rule and reign and the righteous will then govern themselves.... now thats my kind of government! But for now I'll continue to be inspired, not by the half -black president of the USA but by the half-mexican bloggin', tooth shuckin monster, pappa of six wild kiddos, in north Texas! :)

Halloween Gone Wild

The Front Porch welcoming crew

The Mrs. decorating the tree out front

It was a candy 'free for all'. The babe even got intoxicated on sugar.

This costume is a family hierloom... Lani made it for Kimball in Minnesota and it is so adorable on a crawling child. It is made from an old 100 thick polyester curtain I think.

Here in the bible belt, they don't "officially" like halloween so they let the kids do a crazy hair day for halloween instead

For the ward trunker treat, we went as Snow White and the 7 dwarfs..... grumpy was the lucky dwarf because he ended up with Snow White at the end of the night ;)

My wife is absolutely out of control for Halloween. She loves it. It is like her Marti Gras. If she could she'd celebrate it for a week. We went to a ward party as one thing then two nights later had Halloween in our neighborhood and the kids all dressed up as something different. Lani even dresses up the house! The kids were absolutely out of control. They had so much candy and had such little supervision, I mean it was honestly like the local chapter of AAA locking itself into a well stocked liquor store.... by about 10 pm, there were kids passed out all over the house with candy in both hands and in their mouths. Wrappers and half eaten candy everywhere. So much gum, gewy suckers, you name it it was just out of control. I awoke the next morning at 6 am, I kid you not, to the sound of wrappers, sucking, and gum smacking; they were at it again the next morning. It was like a hung over drunk awaking early for an 'eye opener'...... I am not joking when I say this but Talmage didn't eat one meal, not one in over 24 hours! He ate candy like a crack addict and drank so much water. I figured that I would do to my kids what you always hear in that classic retold account of catching your kid smoking so you make them smoke the whole pack right there until they puke in an attempt to extinguish any future desire.... yea you guessed it, it DIDN'T work. The more candy they ate the more frenzied the urge and I honestly was going to check them into a candy rehab facility. So I decided I'd "Barak Obama" the candy and take it away from them and give back to them what I thought they "needed" and proceeded to waste the rest of it in some ignonimous fashion. So now you guys all know that I don't really appreciate tons of candy. Now you know why my kids nominated me to be Grumpy for Halloween. I shouldn't be so grumpy though because after Tuesday I'm going to get "free" nationalized health care and some dentists will do all my kids work for free inspite of the fact that I freely let them eat candy like it was going out of style. I love this.... no choices.... no consequences.... no responsibility. I think I'll just sit at home and wait for the government to send me a check after they go and rob (I mean "distribute") the wealth after they extract it from those evil people who for some reason have figured out how to earn it. Yup, I'm going to quit my job and sit back and rake it in. Maybe I'm going to like this Halloween as much as the Mrs after a few years. It will just take me some time to lose my heart, desire, brains, and enjoy my new government created vegetative state of being.... binging on my kids candy... drunk on my new found lack of self control and self responsibility. Happy Halloween! Happy Voting!

A fundamental question of life.....

Do you like to take pictures or does it just kill you to falsely portray your perfect happiness and contentment with the world?

So I've been hiding away for over a month since my last post.... you might ask, what have you been up to Mr. C for all that time? Were you busy with those kids? Were you involved in another house project? Were you busy saving the world through charitable service? Well, NO! I was pondering the complexities of life in my cave.... I was focusing on this one profound question that from which all life revolves.....If you know the answer to this question, you have your orbit in life figured out and your destiny is much more clear.... the question is of utmost importance, of a profoundly fundamental nature.... Let me lay it on you, here it is: FUNDAMENTALLY, DO YOU LIKE BRUNETTES OR BLONDES? Profound isn't it? Yup, it had me deep in thought for over a month.

Lastly, one final word I'll leave with you is that I am getting old.... yup you know when you are getting old when:

1. Even your moles start growing grey hairs (I'll spare you the pictures on this)

2. When you go to the barber, they offer to trim your eyebrows, nose hair and ear hair

3. The fire department pulls a truck up to your house "just in case" as your family lights the candles on your birthday cake....hmmmm.... not a bad idea

New news? Talmage is potty trained horray! Maxwell turned 5 yippeee! Brigham crawls all over the place OH NO!!! Back to keeping the house clean again, we have a babyvacuum cleaner sticking everything in his mouth.... nothing like a new crawling baby to help you realize what a pig you are....

What a way to end the Summer

The project finally ended!!!!! I was so sick and tired of this project. We put new countertops, backsplashes, and new tile (after tearing out the old tile). Lani got pretty good the farther the project went on and she helped me push through. I swore this was going to take us till Christmas but she refused to let it be so. She pushed hard and now we have 600 square feet of new floor tile, new backspashes, new granite countertops, essentially an entire kitchen remodel and I must say I am plum tuckered out! So before school started and after we worked our toooooshies off, we took our longest vacation in 7 years!!!!! The sum stats: 12 days, 4238 miles, 10 states, 3 nights in hotels, my family, Lani's family, nice cool mountain weather, lakes, rivers, cliff jumping, Savanah's 10th birthday! What a way to end an otherwise miserably hot Texas summer slaving away at my house!

On our way back from up north we spent 36 hours in Utah and this was a great picture of Brigham with his mom and his two great grandmothers (ages 98 and 87)!

The kids loved stopping in Lewiston and seeing my Uncle Chip and family. They wouldn't shut up about how cool his place was and being able to ride in the tractor. My Uncle Chip is the reincarnation of the "Pied Piper" of children. I've never seen anyone attract more kids just by being in the area. Some of my kids take time to warm up but even my most cautious were in his lap tickling with him within about 3 seconds. I've never seen anyone like him.

This was my favorite. My bro Ammon, took us way up the Coeur D Alene River to the most pristine swimming hole I have ever swam in. It was sooo deep and crystal clear. We never could touch the bottom even trying to while jumping off the 35 foot cliff. I took my snorkel gear and the bottom at over 25 feet deep looked as clear as my hand. It was incredible. Savanah and Kimball even took a jump off the 10-12 foot cliff. They couldn't even swim at the beginning of the summer and the brutal Texas weather has forced them to learn to swim. Trout swimming up to the surface as we looked down from the cliffs. Just incredible

My brother, sisters, and cousins kids all got together after swimming in the river and we had a blast at my mom's house. My mom and brother and his wife spoiled us like we've never known with good food, good rest, views of northern Idaho that were a site for these poor eyes, staring at the heat killed Texas landscape. Cool nights, sunsets over Lake Couer D Alene, it just doesn't get any better than this. I got to see my bro and my sis who I hadn't seen in over 5 years.

Swimming in Lake Couer D Alene on a "hot" day (hot for northern Idaho). That lake was extremely "refreshing" being that it took me about 20 minutes to climatize to the cold water. I mean I can't get water that cold in my refrigerator in Texas! It was spectacular.

This trip confirmed to me that north is where it is at. After 3 months solid of 100-110 degree weather, I had had enough. It is amazing what 65 degrees can do for your energy and mental health. We especially loved the forested mountains of Helena to Missoula to Couer D Alene to Boise. The big rivers, lakes, and trees. I am a sucker for mountains with trees (conifers not shrubs!) Water, lots of water, in rivers and lakes. It was a promising trip which greatly satisfied many of our needs and we even used it to do a little investigating. Now we are back in the crucible and I feel somewhat refreshed even though the refreshment ran out this morning... oh well.

Oh, What do you do in the summer time (with a four day fourth of July weekend) when all the world is green?

Does the "caucasian-master" of your house put the labor (mexican) to work on projects? Is that what your "master" does, so does our "master".

Do you swim in a pool to keep yourself cool? Do you do summersaults off the diving board? Is that what you do, so does Maxwell.

Do you make strawberry/blueberry cheesecakes? Is that what you do? So does Mamma ("masta mamma")

Do you run round a track to not get too fat (from the aforementioned cheesecake)? We had the first annual 4th of July Cordova family mile..... everyone finished but Talmage (he only went 3/4 of a mile), Charity won it by a long ways, Kimball almost ran 2 miles and the rest of us were in the middle. We love how our neighborhood puts out flags early in the morning every "patriotic" holiday. Our neighborhood looks so awesome.

What a half month!

Redoing our countertops and backsplashes.... the kids were a great "help" in the project. I am all plum tuckered out. Kind of fun to reuse some old skills that my uncles "installed" in me and that subsequently fed myself and family during college years.... "thanks" Chip, Shaun, Blaine, Grandpa, and Bill. Now my wife has great dreams and grandeurs of what honey dos I should be doing to not let these skills go extinct. Lets just say that they definitley cut into sleeping time.

Our first family day playing at a real waterpark. The sixflags in St. Louis will never be the same after the Cordovas...... by the way, do any of you know how you get puke, pee, poop, blood and boogers out of public swimming water. Some of our swimsuits were a little too tight and others a little too big.

A wonderful fathers' day.... with the crew

We went back to Illinois to go to my residency's graduation. It was awesome to see GREEN again and to visit old friends.....

I almost rehydrated by just breathing the air and feeling the feel of soft supple grass under my bare feet again. Water everywhere!

Little Mr. Blue Eyes

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, don't climb up there!

I've finally found a place at home where I can go to get away from it all to just think and contemplate the profound mysteries of life without any interuption or distrubance.....

What! There is no rest for the wicked. No peace for the heavy laden. No quiet calm for the down trodden..... just like a bunch of little blood sucking monkeys!

Uh oh, what can of worms have I opened up? Do as I say not as I do.... the motto all good dads live by!